Friday, April 21, 2006


11:28 a.m.

Right now I'm sitting in a holding room on the set of a TV show called, Desire. I'm not sure what the show is about, but I just finished "acting" as a civilian on a scene where the stars of the show are being booked at a police station for having public sex. (I was just talking on the phone...fully clothed...sickos.)

More later...

Sunday, April 16, 2006


And that Jeremy is pretty darn bright. I think I have enough here to send him more than ears...

Saturday, April 15, 2006

4/15/06c Jeremy is on a roll...

10:42 p.m.

I'd offer Jeremy more of my chocolate bunny, but I'm not sure how much is going to be left. Jelly beans okay?

It was a ceiling fan! The following clue was stick to one of the blades: I hide things. A lot of things right behind me. But if you look really really close, I look just like you!

Figured that one out pretty quickly. It was the mirrored medicine cabinet in the bathroom. That clue said: The Danes, the Geats, and the Swedes. I'm the very first of the English reads.

Huh. Wish I'd paid closer attention in English Lit class...

Any ideas?

4/15/06b And the winner is...

1:08 p.m.

JEREMY!! It WAS a door mat. I'll send you my Easter bunny's luck rabbit feet.

You guys are great! Though LHM says I'm cheating getting help from my bloglit. The way I figure it...we're talking about chocolate here!

Okay, I'm stuck on another one so perhaps I can ask for a bit more advice.

Under the door mat was a clue that said: 99% of the time I don't even have any gloves. I figured that one out pretty quick. It was in the glove compartment of LHM's car.

The next clue said: I'm hot and wet. Which is probably why I've been a woman's best friend since the 1950's.

That one was pretty simple. It was in the dishwasher. The next clue is sick and twisted and I'm sort of afraid to find out what it means. It says: Suck. Blow. Suck. Blow. *Click* Now I'm light-headed.

4/15/06 And the winner is....

Cap'n Bob!!!!! You Rock! I'll send you the ears from my chocolate bunny when I finally find it.


It was a bed. The people who use a bed the most remember it the least...because they're sleeping! Of course, I argued with LHM that beds aren't just for sleeping anymore...


The clue from under the bed was: We run all day just to get back where we started. Just two good friends who are constantly parted. That one was easy, too. It was behind the clock on LHM's wall. The hands of a clock run all day and are constantly parted.

The clue behind the clock was: Sit up. Lie down. Sit up. Lie down. Where I'm broken, the next clue is found. This one took me a minute or ten, but I figured out it was the futon in LHM's office...which is broken. Good thing he gets to sleep on it and not me.

The next clue has me stuck again. And I have less than 24 hours before Easter.

Here it is: I never thought you were dirty until I met your two friends. Now everytime I see them, they use me and leave me that much dirtier.

I know...I keep telling LHM I don't have friends like that anymore.

Friday, April 14, 2006

4/14/06 HELP

9:51 p.m.
Okay, bloglit. I need your help. And this involves chocolate, so what you can for me.

I just got into California a few hours ago to spend the Easter holiday with LHM. He picked me up from the airport and there was a rolled up envelope in the car door. I didn't pay much attention to it until I read who it was addressed to:

Baby Cakes
69 Bet Your Sweet Ass Lane
San Diego, CA

Huh. If somebody is sending letters to LHM at 69 Sweet Ass Lane I want to know about I can find her and dispatch her with impunity. (Don't worry. I wouldn't really dispatch her with impunity. I just said that because there are so few opportunities to use that phrase in context.)

Anyway, I pulled the envelope out of the door handle and unrolled it. I turned it over and there was a note on the back that said, "Open when you are ready for Easter!!"

Hmm. Delay gratification, or go for the chocolate Easter Bunny goodness now.

I tore open the envelope and found a clue inside. It said, "Well, baby, I knew you couldn't wait. So the first clue is hidden with LHM and three heads of state."

I figured that one out. It was hidden in LHM's wallet with his money. The second clue was, "No matter where you go, I know where you are, which is good..because your next clue is hiding in a place that doesn't exist anymore."

I figured that one out, too. It was hidden on the globe in LHM's living room..stuck on the Soviet Union..which doesn't exist anymore. The third clue said " *JUMP* My life is hanging by a thread. One small shake and I'd be dead. Not up, nor down, nor left, look right! I have a stud to keep me warm at night."

That one was easy. There's a picture of a gargoyle jumping off the edge of a castle in LHM's house. The clue was stuck to the back on the right side.

And this brings me to why I'm writing. I'm going to need some help with the next one(and probably a few more..there are seven left)

The fourth clue says this: "The people who use me the most remember using me the least."

Other than mind altering drugs (and I checked his house to no avail) I can't think of what that might be. Does anybody out there in the blogosphere have any bright ideas?

Sunday, April 09, 2006


9:26 a.m.
It was stormy with high winds all yesterday afternoon and evening. This morning the sky is blue and beautiful, but the wind is still up. I wish I had a body board. The waves are high and crashing up over the dunes.

When I drove out from the airport Friday afternoon I was surprised to see that it's springtime here. The azalea bushes were flowering and I almost crashed my car when I saw huge vines of blooming wisteria braiding their way up tree trunks along I-64. I love wisteria. It takes 10 years for it to reach maturity and bloom the first time. It reminds me of the rewards of patience...which is something I need to be reminded of from time to time.

My case has been somewhat disappointing. None of my witnesses are willing to talk. I have spent two days taking photographs of the scene, timing the cycling of streetlights, and diagraming the intersection. I've dropped by houses unannounced. I've tried calling and leaving notes at the door. I guess nobody wants to put themselves out there.

When I knocked on the first door, I could here a male voice inside speaking urgently and quietly. I knocked again. No answer. Huh. I leave a card in the door and am just getting into my car when a woman peeks her head out. She looks afraid and won't meet my eyes. I walk over and ask her if my witness is there. She says that she's never heard of him and that she lives alone. I thank her and get back into my car. I wonder who the man was inside. I wonder who she was more afraid of...him or me.

The second house is just down the street. There are two kids playing on bikes in front of the house. They stop and stare at me when I pull into the drive. I smile and a little girl tentatively waves. Three or four dinosaur cars are parked in the yard where grass used to be. I see a teenaged woman open the front door before I even get out of my car. I ask her if my witness is there. She says she's not home right now. The girl uses her leg to block a diapered toddler from scampering out of the open doorway and into the yard. I give her my card and ask if she'd please have the witness call me. The kids on bikes continue to stare as I pull out into the street. I wink at the little girl and she smiles as I drive away.

I drive a couple of miles to get to the third witnesses house. But I never get the chance to knock on her door. As I drive down the street trying to find the house, I notice two men stop what they're doing and stare after me. I look in the rearview mirror as I pass and they are still watching my car. Oh, well. No doubt I do stand out. Let them stare. I find my witness's house a hundred yards or so down the street and just get out of my car after making notes describing the residence when the two men come up and angrily ask what I'm doing here. I am surprised at the anger and back into my car as they come closer. One of them asks me if I have a boyfriend. I am about to tell him about all of my boyfriends and all of the many venereal diseases that I carry when a cop pulls up. The men walk away as if the confrontation never happened. Oh, hell. That was close. I take a deep breath as the cop calls me over to his car.

"Hey! What in hell's name are you doing out here? Don't you know this is a bad neighborhood?"

I look around at the gutted cars, trash, and broken down shacks that line the street. "Yes", I say simply. "I'm working."

He shakes his head impatiently and says, "Get out of here. Now."

I am slightly irritated at his tone, but I decide that it would be better to comply then go to jail for suggesting that instead he kiss my ass. Now.

Besides, he might just have a point.

So, I spent the rest of the day knocking on doors and not getting answers.

I should be disappointed but it's hard to do so as I rub more sunscreen on the bridge of my nose and lie back in the warm sand.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Virginia Beach

The view from the dunes outside my hotel.


7:23 a.m.

I'm at the airport waiting to board my flight to Virginia. Traffic was stop and go through Chicago and it was a nail-biter the whole way thinking I might miss plane. Which is much better than being a nose-picker. Which is what the guy in the SUV next to me was being the entire length of Interstate 294. Sigh. I wonder why it is that so many people live under the illusion that their vehicle windows are opaque?

The gate attendant just told us that our flight is delayed until 8:15am. All that rushing around and I could have slept in for a half hour. Go figure. Maybe I'll go get a Cinnabon.

This trip to Virginia should be very interesting. I'm conducting a traffic fatality investigation over the weekend. It's supposed to be a full 30 hours of work packed into two days so the corporate office has relieved me of my regional supervisory duties this weekend. Hooray!!! I feel like a little kid at recess. What should I do first?

Well... of course, I will blog.

More later...

Tuesday, April 04, 2006


jane said...
dude... where'd the booby polly pic go? that's what i looked at daily to cheer me up. er, wait....

12:14 PM

Yeah. The parents just got back from their winter travels and Mom checked my blog.

I love my mom and so I'm going to try to avoid causing future heart attacks by refraining from posting pictures of myself at unfortunate camera angles.