Tuesday, November 29, 2005

11/29/05

8:44 a.m. Sorry I've been neglecting you, bloglit. I am finding that having a visitor from out of town for nearly a month can be somewhat distracting. But LHM is going home tomorrow and I can return to my virtual life.

A couple of things I'll be blogging about in the next few days...

LHM stood outside the Walmart for 14 hours in 21 degree weather to buy some random kids a new X-Box 360, a new television, and a few new video games. He is insane. Random kids think he's a god.

I got six ME cases two nights ago when I was on call. Didn't sleep. That sucked.

I hired Pippie, one of the other deputies at the MEO, to work for me part-time as PI. She starts Wednesday.

I ate a whole jar of Nutella the day after I got the six ME cases. I had to explain to LHM the correlation between chocolatey goodness and a woman's sense of well-being. Pretty sure he just thinks I'm a pig.

Being a regional supervisor sucks. I can feel myself turning into a corporate lackey... Suddenly I have this irrational belief that my supervisors and their investigators are all a bunch of idiots. Or maybe they really are.

I got feedback on my proposal. I need a plot. A case. Some common thread that my book can be based on. The problem is my life is plotless... It's just a random series of weird stories. Sigh. Back to the drawing board.

More later...

31 comments:

Tamara said...

1. I heard there are some bugs with the nex X-Box's.

2. A whole month, hmm? Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee heee HEEE!!!

3. The common thread. Hmmm. You will receive many suggestions here, but may I be the first to suggest your common thread should be your extreme Hotness? ;)

4. Why can't it be in diary format? Each chapter a new case? Like a book of short stories?

5. Stupid publishers. ;)

6. WELCOME BACK!

Tamara said...

7. Six ME cases? Holiday-related? Will Xmas-time be busy as well?

Polly P.I. said...

Christmas will definitely not be busy... other than I'm working all of Christmas day and will be all alone with my eggnog.

And maybe some Nutella.

With a bow on it.

Bah humbug.

Higgy said...

Polly - don't worry about us, we're just here pining away for your return to cyberspace; wondering when the next post will show up; hoping that you're having as good a time with LHM as you did with him in Vegas....
hehehehehehe....

On the book - is there any long-standing case that you took a while to solve? Maybe start with that and come back to it time and time again (with other stories filling in the gaps) until you finish it. There was one you had about a little girl that was just heartbreaking....

Tamara said...

Working all of Christmas day? With the dead people? Why not bring the whole family? It'll be a Christmas they'll never forget!

I bought some Nutella. I put it in my pantry. I cannot figure out what to do with it.

Polly P.I. said...

T,
I was thinking of placing a Santa hat on all of the body bags in the cooler... you know...for a festive flair.

Higgy,
I think that case would be great. I'm working on it. Problem is the timeframe. I wonder if I can fudge it a little with the timing and still call it nonfiction?

Tamara said...

"Artistic License"

BulletBill said...

Need a plot? No problemo.

You work in an area that most of us will never see and hopefully never experience firsthand

Plot:

An overworked ME (Polly PI) handles a steadily increasing number of cases, her beau (LHM) is out of state, but not out of mind.

As her workload increases, so does her exhaustion. One night, sitting in a darkened hallway she is half dozing when it suddenly strikes her that some of these cases are somehow 'odd'. She runs a histogram on the causes and notes that there may be a higher number of infarction cases than normal... someone is killing off folks by giving them heart attacks. Since they appear as 'normal', the local PD does not get involved.

Polly must be able to see what others cannot. She must also be able to act on her innate sense of justice.

LHM comes to visit and while he waiting around for overworked Polly, he meets some of the local folks, one of whom is the killer. Unknown to either Polly or LHM, LHM is being stalked by the killer.

Polly's job is to link all the clues and to her surprise she finds that LHM is the next target. Polly must overcome the bureaucracy in time to save her LHM.

Classic Hollywood. Just remember a few things.

1. Polly is faced (and overcomes) ever-increasing hurdles and challenges.
2. That the final confrontation scene must be in an enclosed or confining space. Say the darkened basement of the ME's office amid all of the steam lines and equipment.
3. Lastly but most importantly, Polly must exit the drama as a changed person for the better.

Polly P.I. said...

Bulletbill that rocks!!

LHM would be a great damsel in distress, too...

Susan said...

Tamara. Nutella...what to do with it...anything you want. I have, so far, behaved with it...eating it straight out of the jar...or on toast...apples...bananas...on anything really.

Or, so I've heard...(but haven't tried)...on anyone who's willing.

Tamara said...

It's good on toast, I've discovered. Except that passers-by who catch a glimpose of your snack tend to grow rather alarmed.

Tamara said...

I was going to type, "Or glimpse" just now, but I ended up making the exact same typo as above. So I won't.

Olga said...

I think the Angel case would be a good common thread, Polly.

Welcome back!

Bulletbill said...

Polly,

Thanks! Any time you need help, just let me know.

> LHM would be a great damsel in distress, too...

That would work for Hollywood too, especially if he is portrayed by a simpering lightloafered weakling.

BB

Tamara said...

No, LHM should still be hunky and tough, but haunted by his memories of The War. ;)

BulletBill said...

Tamara,

That would work as long as it's not The Great War :-)

BB

Miss Snark said...

A really good example of someone who also uses her "plotless life" is Laurie Notaro. Very very funny books.

Slyeyes said...

LHG, haunted by his lackluster experiences during the Mezza-Mezzo War, falls asleep on the couch in Chapter One.

OR...

Polly P.I. said...

Just got the first Laurie Notaro book. Thanks, Ms. Snark. That definitely seems more my style.

Nancy said...

A guest for a MONTH??

Yikes.

Polly P.I. said...

Yeah. You'd think that I'd be sick of him by now.

Kafaleni said...

The usual rule for visitors is buy a fresh fish. When the fish stinks, throw them both out.

HOwever, if he's prepared to wait 14 hours in 21 degree (I'm presuming degrees F, not C, here) weather, just to buy an Xbox for the RK's, then he deserves the Chinese food exemption. You buy the Chinese and when the fuzz takes over the refrigerator shelf where the box is, then you throw them both out. This can take weeks.

Tamara said...

"The Chinese food exemption" -- *snork!*

Higgy said...

"LHG as a simpering, light-loafered weakling" - AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Way to go, Bill - that description, combined with my experiences of meeting him - just made me laugh my ass off....

*goes in search of new ass to replace his laughed-off one*

MOTW said...

"simpering, light-loafered weakling" - sounds like a job for DiCaprio!
higster - Target.com has a special buy one/get one free for light-hearted asses.
11/30/2005

Eleanor said...

*waves hi at Polly*

*decides NOT to say It's about time!*

Jeff Meyerson said...

"LHG as a simpering, light-loafered weakling" - AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Right, Higgy. With all the humiliation a certain PI put him through in Vegas I'm sure he just loves reading this!

Anyway, welcome back Polly! (And Jackie says LHM is a keeper.)

Faye said...

There are so many trite and trivial self asorbed books that I hope you can rise above that and make yours meaningful. Also, i dont mean to be rude but is it a normal practice for an author to ask for so much help and ideas. Whose story does it become? I wrote many years ago before my husband passed and it was a strict practive that a writer learned to write by writing through spots not asking every non-writer for help. It is good to have friends, but ultimately your only judges are your agent and readers. Your friends will tell you whatever you want to hear, but a professional writer will put themselves in training and learn to write their own story. Now I am new to blogging, but not new enough to know my comment we be jumped upon.
You can get defensive and dismiss it or perhaps you will see the point i am trying to share with you.

Polly P.I. said...

Faye,

Welcome to the blog. Don't worry about being jumped on. We're a friendly bunch. And you are not the first to tell me that I should just do it and not look for so much "help".

That said, please note that I did not ask for advice. What I did was comment on the state of things. This is something of an online diary for my professional (a bit of my private) life, after all.

kibby F5 said...

LTTG, but I don't think a true "plot" is necessary for non-fiction.

You may be recalling a series of events where only a few details are fictional (names, places, dates, etc) so how does a "plot" fit in?

A lesson? a life changing? moral issues? humanizing a dehumanized subject? yea.

A simular book could be Dead men DO tell tales. which is written by a (I believe) ME.

Polly P.I. said...

Dead Men Do Tell Tales was written by William Maples. He was a forensic anthropologist at the University of Florida, Gainesville. When I was at the ME's office on Florida we would often bring our skeletal remains cases there for analysis.

That book was responsible for me wanting to become a death investigator in the first place. It was definitely a life story/professional memoir. Dr. Maples had just discovered he had an inoperable brain tumor when he was writing this book.

And I have yet to read the chapter on child deaths. I just can't bring myself to do it. Too painful.