Thursday, December 08, 2005


11:04 a.m. I am currently waiting to testify as an expert witness outside of a courtroom in La Crosse, WI. The client in one of my cases way back when decided to press charges. I guess it irritated them a little to make disability payments to a blind guy that drives his kids to school every morning.

It was bitterly cold and snowing when I left my house at 3am. Just like the good old days. I take a sip of Mt. Dew and then place the cold can to my cheek to keep me awake. I'll have to pull over soon if I can't get over this tired. I watch as flimy whisps of blowing snow curl across the pavement in front of me. I am currently feeling very smug about buying a truck with seat warmers. I take a sip of Mt. Dew. I will need it. It's a 5 hour drive to La Crosse.

Anyway, I've been sitting here since 9am and at this point I am so ticked off that I'm tempted to blow the case for them.

More later... They just called me in.


Kafaleni said...

If I was an insurance company, that would annoy me too.

Be sure to cross your legs often while testifying...

ntfopepi - sounds like Samoan pepto

Tamara said...

*SNORK* @ Kaf

I can just see Polly doing that!

ezjuju - Es qui?

motw said...

A blind guy who drives his kids to school? Makes me think of the movie Sneakers and the blind character Whistler.
edfsxsom - an elf with sexomnia

BulletBill said...

Mtn. Dew in the morning??? eeeeewww. Sorry, I must be old school.

How about a nice hot/warm cup of Jamacian Blue Mountain? Best coffee in the world. A bit too pricy for the JMB? How about a nice tasty Hawaiian Kona? Yummm.

And if nothing else, a cup of Starbucks will do much better than a Mtn. Dew or a (God forbid) Pepsi at o'dark thirty in the morning.

Polly P.I. said...

Ah, back in the day I would drink my weight in coffee. Then that pesky ulcer thing started and I had to switch to....battery acid.


iteum -- Latin for something small

BulletBill said...

Ahhh Ulcers (shudder), another story entirely. I recently cut out caffinated coffee going cold turkey. The headaches lasted about a week and now I'm down to a mug a day of the stuff.

Even so, I don't know if I have the courage to have a Mtn. Dew in the am. Hats off to you !!


gnulp -- sounds like a Norwegian gulp

Jeff Meyerson said...

Interesting, Pol, but they had an incredible story on tonight's news about a blind guy teaching phys ed in the NYC public schools! He can see shadows but that's about it and has an assistant teacher, but basically he uses his other senses and keeps the kids in line.

fbduvm - character on 50s daytime tv

Kafaleni said...

I remember seeing something years ago about a blind guy (like Jeff's - shadows and that was all...) in rural Spain (? somewhere like that) who drove to and from work every day - didn't have a license, never had or caused an accident. Was only discovered when he got smashed into by a drunk driver.

bwgnmbc - Bill Wilson's Gigantic Northern Moose-Biting Cat?

Olga said...

Polly used to keep a 12 pack of Diet Dew in her car back in high school. I think she went through one every 1-2 days or so.

I drink Diet Code Red Dew in the mornings. I hate coffee.

gaglwto - a spontaneous gag reflex that catches on like a yawn

motw said...

The wheels of justice turn ever-so-slowly in La Crosse.

How's your hand, Polly?

Dec. 12, 2005
yqqrl - a Yiddish squirrel

Tamara said...

"I am currently waiting to testify as an expert witness..."

NO, you are NOT!


(to flatter MOTW with imitation:
hoy es Diciembre 13)

MrIHaveNoPatience said...

Tap, tap, tap, Is this thing on?

What happened to more later ....

Sarcasmo said...

They just called me in

Did they ever let you OUT?

What in the world did you SAY in there?

-gtwuvuo - I got nothin'

BulletBill said...

Methinks that our dear Polly may have spoken too sharply to a judge. Probably one with a notorious habit of throwing sharp MI's in the clink for what's known as "contempt". Does she need to be bailed out?

tkkju - An obscure martial art

Slyeyes said...

Polly no longer loves us.


motw said...

Maybe she's having another brain fart, guys. See thread immediately below (and I quote):
Now where was I? Oh, yeah. Straddling Dead Guy taking pictures.

All we need to do is look for a dead guy being straddled by a svelte M.E./PI/Expert Witness and, voila!, we'll have our Polly back.

fwetcrt - a Certs that your dog just finished licking.

Olga said...

Maybe she threw out her back turning over the dead guy and can't sit up enough to type. (That actually happened to her once.)

dghzuay: a new line of chew toys for Slavic dogs

Slyeyes said...

*looks through Polly's rolodex for a PI to go looking for her*



Kafaleni said...

Now where was I? Oh, yeah. Straddling Dead Guy taking pictures.

The first time I read that thread, I was on the phone to my mother, paying my usual amount of attention to the conversation. I burst out laughing, so I had to read the quote out to her and she said "Of course. What else would she be doing?"

ribsfqud - the latest in fusion cuisine - barbecue ribs with squid balls. The f is self-explanatory