Tuesday, October 11, 2005


9:08 a.m.

So, I'm outside of a doctor's office right now. I have spent the past two days following a guy that is supposedly very, very injured in his left hip. He was doing yard work yesterday with hardly a limp. This doctor's appointment was actually set up by the insurance company to set him up for me.

I decide to bring a random 4-year-old kid with me while I'm undercover today so that I won't raise suspicion in the waiting room. (Who's going to suspect some lady with a child of spying on them, I ask you? What kind of a crappy parent would bring a kid on surveillance?)

I take random 4-year-old's hand and counsel him as we walk into the building. "Remember, kid, this is not the same thing as lying. This is 'pretext'. Big difference....you can't go to hell for pretext."

We are there early and the office manager is really cool about accommodating me when I tell him what I'm doing. He even shows me the back door so that I can sneak out after my Subject gets called into his appointment.

So I'm sitting on the floor and random 4-year-old and I are playing with a pathetic collection of snot-covered toys when my Subject walks in. Oh, my goodness. He's grunting and limping like the Hunchback of Notre Dame without the hunchback. It hurts to watch.

I get some good video from my spy purse and then slip out the back door. Now I'm waiting for Igor to leave his appointment and we'll see where he goes from here.


Anonymous said...

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Come and check it out if you get time :-)

Tamara said...

Yay, Random Kid! You're a hero!

*snork* @ "pretext" :)

Brat said...

Igor, is he the one that works for Dr. Fronkenstien? (lame reference to Young Frankenstein as in "Hump, what hump")

Snot covered toys - is that a true forensic determination?
What test did you use? Sniff, touch, microscopic analysis, chemical analysis (like with one of those swab thingys), lick?

Anonymous said...

Where do you find these random 4 year olds? Just curious!

motw said...

Leave it to MOTW - atta gal, Polly! Some solid sleep and you're ready to roll. Go get 'im!

Mike Weasel said...

I'm sure she used the scientific blacklight.

BTW, Mad and I get a kick out of watching the show "Cheaters" and can't help but think of you. I'm sure they even used a purse-cam at one point to follow their suspect into a grocery store as he purchased prophylactics. (They had a great term for it on the show, but I forgot it.) That show cracks me up with their bizarre graphics, and their overuse of black and white and green-filter (to look like IR goggles?) to make it really look like they're on the field out there. And let's not forget that host with his soul patch and LED-blinking earpiece.

Cap'n Bob Napier said...

This is a sacred site and anyone who spams it should be decapitated. The nerve.

Polly P.I. said...

As long as I get to investigate the spammer's untimely demise...

"Doc... yeah. I think it was suicide....I know his head was chopped off....He must really have wanted to die...."

insomniac said...

It's Eye-gor, I bet!

Anonymous said...

Molly Sue wants pics of the random 4yr old...(random my ass) Not to mention, girl...don't leave me hangin' where's the rest of the story!! I need to know what happen to Igor the bump on society.
Can I tell a random 5 yr old that pretext is a good cover up? I'm liking the premise, it could work for me......

Polly P.I. said...

Ah, Molly Sue... As is true most of the time in real life, the rest of the story wasn't that exciting, I'm afraid.

I followed my guy for about a half hour before he started to act suspiciously. He suddenly turned into a driveway. I passed, of course, and parked along a side street waiting to see what he'd do.

Then he passed me and I was on him again, only a few more cars behind. He put on his left turn signal and made like he was going left, but then at the last minute went straight.

Hey, I can take a hint. I know evasive maneuvers when I see them. I backed way off. What we call a "loose" surveillance. And I eventually lost him.

Alas. I set up again at his house, but there was no activity the rest of the day.

Jeff Meyerson said...

Way to go, Polly! Get "some random kid" involved in the surveillance early in his life. Maybe you have a potential P.I. in the making there.

Oh, and Snot-Covered Toys WBAGNFARB.