Tuesday, September 13, 2005

9/13/05a

2:48 p.m. So, I signed up for this online dating service a long, long time ago. And today I got the following email:


I would like to meet with YOU.I am Manasseh,30,single,Nigerian,Transporter,loves life .Ienjoy reading your profile and it kind of interest me.I WANT A WOMAN i CAN LOVE WITH MY WHOLE HEART.I also want to feel like an African king in the bossom of my sweetheart.But I must first get to know her and appreciate her person.

Cool. I wouldn't mind making him feel like an African king, but my questions is, what IS a "Transporter"? Does he drive a bus? Is he a drug trafficker? Does he carry stuff? Because, in that case, aren't we ALL "Transporters"?

And isn't he getting just a little fresh asking me if he can appreciate my person on the first email? I mean, really...

15 comments:

Mad Scientist said...

Wow Polly you are getting lots of spam lately.
Maybe he is the transporter. HE doesn't really look like an African King though.

Polly P.I. said...

Oh dear...

Olga will love you for that, Mad. She thinks that guy from the Transporter movies has the sexiest voice ever.

Doncha, Olga??

kitty said...

Hellooo? It's another Nigerian scam!

Susan said...

He's just after your bossom.

Kafaleni said...

Personally, think you'd feel more like a queen than a king, but maybe everyone else knows something that I don't. It wouldn't be the first time. I almost walked out of a surprise party for one of my birthdays because I didn't realise it was for me. They don't throw me surprise parties any more. Everyone's happier that way.

Slyeyes said...

Ancient quote by Nigerian Kings: All your bossum belong to us.

Jeff Meyerson said...

But can he get you a big percentage of his Nigerian bank account is the question.

Are you sure it wasn't Cap'n Bob in disguise?

Olga said...

Oooooh. The Transporter. I'm going to see the Transporter 2 (which looks like a rip off of Denzel's "Man on Fire") just so I can have 2 hours of listening to that sexy, gravelly voice. I might even close my eyes.

What's a bossom? Is he talking busom, or bottom? Or blossom? I'm not sure...

rita said...

Talk about a long-distance romance.

Kafaleni said...

Olga.. I think most of us have translated that as referring to the area of a woman's chest containing the breastesses. I always thought it was spelt bosom. Not that I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, you understand. There are lots of really good words for that part of a woman's anatomy that have agreed upon spellings, but he went with the one that someone will always think is mis-spelt.

Olga said...

One of my fave terms (being a trashy romance reader, you read A LOT of different terms) is D├ęcolletage, which actually means neck or shoulder, but has been used for the bosom-y area as well. It sounds way more sophisticated and makes me sound smart when I use it.

You're right, BTW - it's bosom - I (gasp!) spelled it wrong.

motw said...

Does he drive a bus?

Ralph 'Manasseh' Cramden

Cap'n Bob Napier said...

Didn't you notice the Nigerian convention going on at the Sheraton during Bouchercon? Every one of theose people were enjoying the fruits of their Internet scams.

And think about it, Polly. Do you really want to be a queen in a third world country ravaged by poverty, AIDS, tribalism, and elephantiasis? Okay, that's better than hooking up with Stilwell, but there have to be better options out there.

thor said...

dang. i was too slow on the bossom comment. guess that's what i get for missing the blog for a couple days...

Higgy said...

Olga - go watch "Lock, stock and two smoking barrels" as well - a great movie and has that fella in it...