8:33 a.m. I got cussed out for saying "suck ass" on the blog. (That was a quote, Mom, so it doesn't count.) And then I was wearing a sleeveless shirt that was maybe a little low-cut and I got the "Can you adjust the straps higher on that? You're hanging out."
I looked at Mom and said, "So, pretty much you're saying I'm a foul-mouthed hussy?"
So, in deference to my mother and in an effort to reduce my Huss-Factor, I will, from this day forward or at least until spring when it's warm again, wear a pull-over with my skeezer shirts (unless I'm on the prowl).
Furthermore, I will no longer say, "ass". (That was another quote, Mom.) I will only say, "a$$"...which is far less offensive but still gets the point across in a poignant way.
That is all. I'm finished being a smarta$$.