8/22/05

6:42 a.m. I woke up this morning at 5:15 a.m. to an incessant beeping...beeping...beeping. I kept trying to turn off my alarm clock and was about to throw it across the room when I realized that it was my cell phone. I answered it with a bleary, "Mmmph." On the other end a hesitant voice said, "Is this Polly? This is Minnie..the new investigator. You said I could call you after six. Does that mean Eastern time or Central time? Do I need to call back? I'm sorry..." I sit up and stifle a yawn. "No, no. This is fine, Minnie. How's your first day of surveillance going?" Minnie sounds like a prepubescent girl. I imagine a five-year-old in pigtails sitting on a booster seat behind the wheel of an SUV. She tells me that she has already been caught. Wow. Fifteen minutes. That's a new world record for getting picked up. I ask her what exactly happened and she tells me that an old lady next door came out with some dogs and was looking right at her. Minnie panicked and drove away. I smile. "Yeah. That'll happen. You're fine. Go on back and set up again. People will notice you, just act like you have a legitimate reason to be there. And if they ask, tell them you're conducting an investigation and if they want more details to call the cops."

We discuss her case for a while and I ask her details about the neighborhood and the house and the Subject she's surveilling. She seems pretty on the ball and I am hoping she doesn't bolt when the cops make their inevitable appearance later in the day. I will probably spend a couple of hours going over her report tonight. Sigh. I'll be in a hotel in Michigan by then so I suppose it will give me something better to do than watch TV, eat fast food, and drink Mylanta.

There's been a lot of rearranging of territories lately. I lost Ohio and gained Iowa. Hooray for Iowa! Iowa promises to be less of a pain in the ass. I've had two really busy states for a long time and Powers That Be finally decided to have mercy on me. I feel kinda bad because Sugar now has to train the two new investigators that I just hired. I don't feel REALLY bad, though, because she's been sailing by with only one state since I started.

From past patterns, it seems that the company will be splitting regions again soon. I guess we'll see what happens at the supervisor meeting in December. I am not sure if I'll take a regional supervisor job if they offer it. I guess it will depend on how much money they plan to give me and what happens with the ME Investigator job.

Today I need to pack and TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE before I leave for Michigan. I have to remember my running shoes so I can train. Just running a couple of miles is a chore right now. Serves me right for letting my workouts slide over the past several months.

Later on I plan on talking about obtaining a positive identification for the decedent. There are several ways of doing so. Visual, dental records, x-ray, fingerprint, and DNA. I've got some interesting examples from each category.

And I'm sure I'll be hearing more from Minnie.

Later....