Thursday, August 04, 2005


6:59 a.m. We had some terrible storms last night. I forget sometimes how fierce the weather can be out here on the Great Plains. I woke up around 2am to the bright, almost non-stop flash of lightening through my bedroom window. The rumble and crash of the thunder rolled over me like waves. I was disoriented and it took me a moment to realize where I was. I was at Mom and Dad's. And I had been dreaming. They weren't exactly good dreams, either. I was unsettled. I lay back on my pillow and looked up at the ceiling, trying to remember what had disturbed me so.

The first image I remember was of a jar. It was about half full of peanut butter. In my dream, I gazed into the jar and was sickened to see blood swirled in with the food. Then the dream changed and I was lying on my back in the tall grass of a swamp. My body was partially submerged in shallow water from my chest down. I couldn't move...could only stare up at the blue sky. I suddenly realized I was a corpse. I had been murdered. And with that realization I rose above myself and looked down. From that moment, I would switch back and forth from observing from above to being inside my lifeless body.

There were bugs skittering across my legs and I felt the sharp pinch of crabs chewing on my fingertips. I knew it must be at least 80 degrees, but I was so, so cold. I hate being cold. I could hear the brush moving and caught glimpses of blue uniforms. Investigators were searching for me. Finally, somebody spotted me. "Over here guys! I found it."

A middle-aged cop stood over me, gazing into my vacant, dead eyes. Eyes that never closed because at the moment of death they were open in shock and fear. I was covered in blood and dirt and my leg was turned in an unnatural way. I knew it was very, very broken.

Then the dream flashed into a completely different scene. I was in my mother's garden. It was a beautiful, sunny day. I could hear bees buzzing around the flowers as I sat on the ground, concentrating on the contents of a glass of water. I was busy making a bird, you see. Yes, making. I was creating a beautiful yellow chick inside the glass. I didn't know quite how I was doing it, but eventually I finished and watched the little bird surface. I picked it up and cupped it in my hand. And as I gazed at the bird, I felt a sudden, fierce love for it. I wanted to nurture it. It was life and it was good.

Freud would have a field day with that. He'd pobably say I was stuck in the oral phase and wasn't breastfed long enough. (Thanks a lot, Mom.)

This morning I am headed up to Theif River Falls where I will be working a case, but more importantly, I'll be meeting Peri! She and I will go out and play on Friday night. We are still hopeful that we can find a mechanical bull, but barring that we'll settle for a goat or maybe a small elk.


Jeff Meyerson said...

Or you could tip a cow.

Interesting dreams. I don't think breastfeeding has much to do with them. The first one probably has a lot to do with the stories you've been telling here lately. You've seen a lot and it has obviously affected you deeply.

The second is a lot more positive (duh!). It shows your creative side and maybe suggests the book you are going to bring into the world.

That'll be five cents please.

Dave said...

Maybe the second one means your knocked up??? he he he Interesting dreams though hey have fun out there

Polly P.I. said...


You have to be having sex to get pregnant, don't you?

Tamara said...

Well, *Dave* would have to do a lot more than *that.* ;)

Austin said...

How come we never get the fun storms? There was a little bit of lightening around midnight, but nothing fun. Or maybe I just slept though it all.

punky brewster said...

"We are still hopeful that we can find a mechanical bull, but barring that we'll settle for a goat or maybe a small elk."

Or a willing male :)

Have a great time, you two!

Higgy said...

Just keep in mind that we need PICTURES! Take the (not-so)crapcam with you!

Slyeyes said...

You have to be having sex to get pregnant, don't you?

That's what Mary thought.

Anonymous said...

Or so she said.

Olga said...

My aunt told me a story about what she would do for fun in the small town of Chisholm, MN. They would go cow tipping, but to make it more fun, first they would catch fireflies (or lightning bugs to you non-Midwesterners). Then they would smear the glowy stuff all over them and THEN go cow tipping. It scared the crap out of the cows.

Have a great time cow tippin' Polly! Don't get squished! :-)

Thor said...

wow. i never knew you could make yourself glow like that. i always just pinched off their tails. throw the tails in a jar, and you've got a free (and slightly mean!) nightlight. :oP

Anonymous said...

Austin, you just slept through the storm. It was definitely in the cities. -Jeremy