8/7/05a

I got the Anna Nalick CD before I left today. I should stop getting new CD's for my long road trips. I end up getting far too introspective. I stop at a McDonald's and sit in the parking lot listening to "In My Head" over and over again.

Under the weight of your wings
You are a god and whatever I want you to be
And I wonder if truly you are
Nearly as beautiful as I believe

In my head
Your voice
You've got all that I need
And this make-believe
Will get me through another lonely night

I don't want to be fool-hearted
Baby, I'm outnumbered in my head

Under the weight of your wings
I make believe you are all that I'll ever need
All that I need


I love this song. It gives me hope. Reminds me of what I'm waiting for...that person that won't disappoint me after the dust settles. I still believe in that, despite what I've been through. Heaven help the man that ends up with me, though. He'll have his hands full.

I sigh and shut off the stereo. I lock up the car and walk across the parking lot. It is hot and the sun is beating down on me. I'm looking forward to a strawberry milkshake. Yum. As I walk, my eyes almost immediately land on a giant statue of a chicken with a bib and a chef's hat sitting right in front of a Dairy Queen. Well, that's interesting. A hungry chicken. I smile because the Chicken Chef reminds me of a statue I saw yesterday in northern Minnesota. This one was a polar bear with its right front paw on the back of an arctic seal. It appeared to be preparing to dispatch the fuzzy little guy and eat him for lunch. Who thinks of these things? How would a parent explain that to a child? "See, Johnny? Isn't nature beautiful? See how the polar bear is getting ready to eat the cute little innocent seal?...Why are you crying, Johnny? It's the Circle of Life and all that...Remember the Lion King?....Oh, stop...You should have seen what it was like when I was a kid...MY parents made me watch baby seals being clubbed to death by Precilla Presley on Those Amazing Animals..."

I am in the McDonald's bathroom now. I prefer McDonald's bathrooms because the stalls in the ladies rooms go all the way down to the floor...nobody can reach under and swipe my purse...or worse, no curious little two-year-old will peak under the door and get an eyeful of something that will surely lead to years of psychotherapy later on.

I notice that the toilet has not been flushed. Gross. I make a face and push down the handle. Almost immediately I note that the water is rising like the Mississippi in springtime. Oh dear. I look around the side of the commode and attempt to turn the water supply off but the handle is too tight. Aack! Icky crap water begins to overflow and I scamper out of the stall in a panic. I burst out of the ladies room and make a run for it.

I am about 2 miles down the freeway before I stop to think what an idiot I am. What did I think they would do? Arrest me? Make me clean it up? And I still have to go to the bathroom...