Wednesday, June 01, 2005

6/1/05

7:30 a.m. I get a call from our boy, Hummer. He is outside the house of the nudist colony Subject. I told him to mark her tires yesterday afternoon so we could determine if she went anywhere later in the day. When I ask him whether her vehicle has been moved, he says that he was too busy doing record searches at the courthouse and the county assessor's office yesterday to come back and mark the tires. Unbelievable. I am wishing I was a pirate ship captain so I could have him flogged for insubordination. That's forty lashes for ye, ya swarthy scalawag! Right up the poop deck! ARRGH! Bend over and grab yer ankles!

I tell Hummer that the summer breeze and his nether regions will soon become well-acquainted.

9 comments:

Jeff Meyerson said...

I told him to mark her tires yesterday afternoon so we could determine if she went anywhere later in the day.

I was sure you were going to say he peed on them like a dog!

I tell Hummer that the summer breeze and his nether regions will soon become well-acquainted.

Great! Too bad you didn't get to tell him face to face.

Higgy said...

What an idjit! Almost enough to get me to reverse my poll remarks. Kick some butt, Polly!

Marvin | Paranoid Android said...

Hey, if you flog him before he penetrates the nudist colony, I bet there'd be lots of fun rumors floating around about him...

slyeyes said...

uh, Polly, regarding your situation the other day, here's an article about trucker bombs

Polly P.I. said...

Slyeyes,

GROSS! At least I have the common courtesy to throw mine in a dumpster.

Or some random person's garbage can.

Jeff Meyerson said...

Most drivers whiz along the nation's highways

Subtle, right? Gross is right.

Did you send this to Dave & Judi, sly?

slyeyes said...

Yeah, but if he posts it, Claire or Ted Hbrg-Grabit will probably get credit.

Alex said...

Trucker bombs and nudists? Wow, I don't think I could've invented better stories myself.

:-)

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