Monday, June 27, 2005

6/27/05

6:47 a.m. I am hating life right now. I stand in the bathroom stall at the BP station trying to adjust the pantyhose I just bought. Almost...there. I do a plie that a prima ballerina would envy. Squat. Kick. And repeat. For some reason I think of Ms. Grant from Fame. You want fame? Well, fame costs. And right here is where you start payin'. Amen, sister.

I put my pumps back on and buy a liter bottle of Diet Coke and a V8 juice. When I walk outside I am immediately hit by crushing heat and humidity. Within seconds I am sweating. I unbutton my suit jacket and drape it over the back of my seat before entering the truck. The leather seats are blistering hot on the back of my thighs. And it's not even 8am yet. My mood could not get worse.

The phone rings. It's Stinky Jimmy. "Hello?" Stinky Jimmy is very upset about Hummer getting picked up on Friday and not calling it in. As I'd predicted, he wants Hummer's head on a platter. I spend 10 minutes trying to calm him down and finally convince him to give Hummer one more chance...at least until I can get a replacement for him.

I must confess that over the months I have begun to feel a slight sense of maternal responsiblity for Hummer. He doesn't mean to be bad. And anyway, how would he make it out there in the big world all alone? He'd be eaten alive. It would be like throwing a puppy into a pool of sharks.

I am doing a little extra work on the lawyer case today. I will take photographs of her office, enter the building. Talk to her on the phone. I was originally intending to do it on Friday, but the client said they would prefer a Monday, instead. I did a little digging yesterday and found that this lawyer caters to the Chinese-American population. I am something like 1/16 or 1/32 Chinese. I adjust the rearview mirror so I can study my face. Hmmm... I look about as Chinese as Kim Cattrall did in Big Trouble In Little China. (That would be not very.)

More later...

6 comments:

Sling Words said...

You wear pantyhose????!!! You're kidding, right?

Marvin | Paranoid Android said...

I am thinking (and hoping) that Polly was only wearing them because she has to mingle with lawyer types to get pictures of lawyer lady's workplace.

The imagery of Polly crashing around a bathroom stall trying to get pantyhose to 'work' properly is really quite amusing...

Brat said...

about as Chinese asCattrall did in Big Trouble In Little China

Yeah, but she had gweeen eyes!

And of course....good ramparts.

Polly P.I. said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jeff Meyerson said...

Maternal, shmaternal. I'm with Stinky Jimmy. Fire his ass!

Kudzu said...

Polly has the most beautiful eyes of any woman claiming 1/16 to 1/32 chinese I have ever seen!