Sunday, June 19, 2005

6/19/05

7:42 a.m. I'm flying back to Chicago this afternoon. I have yet to pack my bags and I imagine I'll procrastinate for another hour or two. It's such a nice day that I think I'll take a walk.

I met up with several old and new friends yesterday. I went miniature golfing with Mad Scientist and Mike Weasel. It was very fun, but after a couple of hours in the sun I now have a tan line on my shoulder shaped pretty much like Florida. I hate it when I miss with the sunscreen.

Mad and I...well...our talents don't extend to anything that involves hitting, kicking, or bouncing a ball. Mad can experiment the hell out of something. And I suppose I can investigate the hell out of something. But let me tell you, we were so pathetically bad at miniature golf that toward the end of the course we took to sitting on the bench in front of every hole and throwing the golf ball down the green. Mad even stopped aiming for the hole entirely and created new games called, "Throw The Ball In The Dragon's Mouth" or "Attempt To Get The Ball Stuck At The Top Of The Eiffel Tower". It's a good thing I don't live here because I'm not sure that we will be allowed to return to Happy Putt Putt Land...

And then later I went to dinner with Jane Keeler and the Shaggies. Jane and Shaggy went to the academy with me when I was a federal agent. We laughed and had a good time and it was hard to believe that two years had passed since we were together last.

I haven't really talked about being a special agent much. Mostly because I had to sign a non-disclosure agreement before I left the government. But being that my job was to conduct background investigations for security clearances, you can rest assured that there weren't very many moments of great interest, anyway. At the academy, we used to joke that we were the asthmatic mouth-breathers of the special agent world.

The only thing I really miss is the badge. That badge got me out of several speeding tickets. It let me skip through security at the airport. If I was interviewing somebody and I knew they were lying to me all I had to do was flash the badge and threaten a polygraph and the Subject would wet their pants and start telling me about the time when they were six-years-old and they stole a candy bar from 7-Eleven.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

jane smells

jane said...

ummm...... okay.....

Polly P.I. said...

Jane,
Anonymous was at the academy with us. I believe he was also the one that said Steve had dreamier eyes than Vin Deisel.

Anonymous said...

jane smells like roses

jane said...

i see.....

and steve's eyes are dreamier than Vin Deisel's...

er, perhaps not.

kibby_f5 said...

*notices the golf scores aren't posted*

And I suppose Weasel let the gals win, well, because that's just the kind of guy he is!

Oh, Polly, Angel's in the calander. Peri confirmed it for us.

Polly P.I. said...

Thanks, Kibby. And tell Peri hi.

mad Scientist said...

I think weasel won at golf. He was keeping score so he could have made them anything he wanted noone else was really paying attention.

Jeff Meyerson said...

Polly, your story is just like a good book or movie. You suck in your audience (this is a good thing, by the way), then drop little hints to keep us involved, and little by little peel back another layer of the onion as you go into another flashback.

You really need to write this stuff all down. I'm telling you, it could be a blockbuster, no lie.

Do you still have the badge?

Polly P.I. said...

Jeff,

No more badge. The meanies made me give it back. Something about "impersonating a federal agent" or some such nonsense...

mike weasel said...

golf was fun! i even got a slight burn on the back of the neck. i think the dragon breathed on me.